What is sexual abuse?
Sexual abuse is any sexual act which is unwanted and which has not been consented to. Someone may not have the freedom and capacity to agree by choice to sexual activity if they are scared for their life or safety, or for the life or safety of someone else, asleep or unconscious, or incapacitated through alcohol or drugs. It is a common misconception that the only form of sexual violence is rape but sexual abuse can actually take many forms, from sharing sexual images or stories without your consent and indecent exposure, to forced marriage and female genital mutilation (FGM).
How common is sexual abuse and violence?
Sexual abuse and violence affects millions of people across the UK every year. The statistics are frightening. According to the latest Crime Survey for England and Wales, an estimated 1.6 million adults have experienced sexual assault and yet only 16% of those had reported it to the police, often for fear of embarrassment, judgement or that no-one will believe them. This means that we cannot possibly appreciate the true extent of the problem and that hundreds of thousands of victims are suffering in silence.
Abuse behind closed doors
What is even more sobering is the percentage of sexual violence attacks that take place in the victims’ own homes, at the hands of their partners. A huge 44% of attacks were committed by a partner or ex-partner and over a third (37%) of incidents took place in their own homes.
All too often in cases of domestic abuse, the victim feels trapped or helpless. If no-one else is there to witness what is going on behind closed doors, it can feel as if it is your word against your abuser’s.
This can be especially difficult for those people who have been isolated by their partner’s controlling behaviour, effectively eliminating any lifeline the victim might have, such as friends, family members and work colleagues. But no-one should have to suffer in silence. Many victims are bullied into thinking that they have done something to deserve the abuse but that is absolutely not the case. We regularly talk to victims of domestic abuse who have been able to turn their lives around when they have gathered the strength they need to talk to someone about what is happening to them.
The effect on our children
All too often, sexual abuse and violence that goes on at home has a long lasting impact, not only on the victims but also on their children. Even if they don’t witness the actual attacks, young children are inevitably exposed to the fallout and the trauma that domestic violence brings and have to live with the scars. Often, in cases where domestic violence is raised as a concern within a relationship, Social Services will have to get involved to ensure the child’s safety, causing even more stress and upset for the victim.
The signs of sexual abuse
The purpose of the annual #itsnotok campaign is to remind us all that sexual abuse and violence can affect anyone but no-one should have to put up with it. We all need to be able to spot the signs and help those people who are suffering.
Experiencing sexual abuse can have devastating and long-lasting emotional, psychological and physical effects, including depression, anxiety, an unexplained change in behaviour and low self-esteem. All too often, it can lead to the victims self-harming and having suicidal thoughts, so we must all look out for the signs among our friends and family members and speak up if we see any signs that concern us.
Where can I get help?
Domestic abuse is a criminal act that ruins lives. Many people understandably feel trapped but if you are experiencing abuse in any form that is making you feel unsafe in your own home, we can help put a stop to it and ensure you and your children are safe and protected.
With our experience, support and insistence of total confidentiality, we will do all we can to help you be free from abuse. We can act quickly to get court orders in place, making it illegal for your abuser to be near you, your family or your property. We can put you in touch with various organisations who are experienced in helping people who have been through the same ordeal. We can also request that you receive police protection and can support you in bringing criminal charges against them if you wish.
If you are in an abusive relationship and are worried about the effects on your children, we can advise on applying to the family court to help to keep them safe from being exposed to abuse within the home. And if Social Services have to get involved as they raise domestic violence as a concern for your or your children’s safety, we can also advise you on the best course of action.
How much will it cost?
Lots of people worry about getting legal advice as they think it will be very expensive but that should never put you off getting help as the costs are not as high as you might expect. Legal Aid funding is often available to help with any court application and legal fees so if you are suffering and don’t know where to turn, get in touch today on 01633 244233 or email hello@hevans.com for understanding and confidential advice.
